I grew up in Southern California in the 60's-70's and was raised vegatarian in a strictly religious environment by a single mother who was brilliant, driven, erratic, and bipolar. Our father was a fairly non-existant alcoholic. I was the middle child of 3 boys spaced 4 years apart each way. We went to church each week, private christian (Seventh Day Adventist) school. I admired my older brother for many reasons, but our love of baseball bonded us. We would turn in 7-up bottles for a nickle to buy baseball cards, listen to Dodger baseball games with our transister radios under our pillows after lights out, and play as many versions of us winning the game in the bottom of the 9th inning as our hearts could imagine. When I tried out for Little League at the age of 10 I realized that I was not like the other kids. None of my church school classmates played, I was more athletically gifted then those trying out, and I belonged to 'something' that did not allow me to play baseball on Saturdays. Half the games were on Saturday. For that reason, and because "Lee" rhymes with many childhood taunts, I quit. That hurt. For the next year all I could think about was playing baseball and how I had to find a way. My mom agreed to let me try out again, use my first name which is Gary (Lee is my middle name), and play...except on Saturdays. Half the games that year (9) were on a non-Saturday, and on each of those days I was the pitcher. I went 8-1. The loss came after 7 games, and I cried. It was easy to have passion when I won, but I was more passionate when I lost. The groundwork was laid for who I was:
*willing to take risks in the face of adversity
*a negotiator with myself and others
*driven to succeed
*someone who quit, but came back stronger
My parents had divorced when I was 8, and my mom did not even have a high school education. In order to provide a better life for us, and herself, she gave us up. Grades 5-7 I lived with a Seventh Day Adventist foster family, so I continued my religious schooling, but in an area 65 miles from where I grew up from. My brothers were farmed out also as our mother got her GED (high school equivalent to diploma) and put herself through college and graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree. By the time I was 16 I was living on my own and taking care of my younger brother. Thoughout my Academy years (grades 9-12) I excelled in football, baseball, and basketball. I learned once again that I was not like the others. Besides excelling in sports, I was chosen to be: School Sargent at Arms, Class President, Editor of the School newspaper, Student Body President, Who's Who Amoung American High School Students for Leadership, and yet, I did not seek those roles, nor did I believe I was a worthy. I guess you could say I was conflicted because of my 'living/family situation.' I was 6' 155 lbs. As I entered college my mom told me these two things that have always stuck with me, and added to my foundation:
*anyone who says life is fair, is a liar
*if you want anything in life you are going to have to go out and earn it, no one is going to give you anything
By the time I was 23 I was married (1985) had a career and earning over 60K/year. It was Southern California, it was the 80's which meant drugs (marijuana/cocaine) were a part of the culture inside and outside of the office. I was no longer a vegatarian, a church-goer, or living a life of self discipline. By 1990 I was working in the managed care industry in Las Vegas, serving on a Board of Directors for the Underwriters Association, and living the life of Reilly. Travel, sporting events, an unlimited corporate credit card, corporate jet to LA for Raider games with corporate season tickets, travel with the college football team, lobbying at the state and national level, it was a life that was superficial, excessive, selfish, and without boundaries. My goals were all centered on a material lifestyle. I was connected, happy (or so I thought), and I knew how the story would end. My son Garrett was born in 1992 and here was my chance to make up for not having a dad in my life. I dedicated all my efforts into bonding with Garrett, applying all the things I learned at college in child development (psych) class. A father and son could not have been closer for those first 8 years.
The problem was, in an effort to find love I had married a girl at the age of 22, 3 months after we met. Ours was not a contentious relationship, most people assumed we were the 'perfect couple,' but it was a loveless union. Because my dad was an alcoholic, I have never kept alcohol in my home, but I was the first guy to meet you at the bar, and one of those "great guys" to hang out with. I started to sabotage my life, our life together. I made a bad career move, and was laid off when the company pulled out of the state. At the same time I began to experience back pain beyond description, and was only able to take two steps before doubling over in pain. Sitting, walking, standing, it was all horribly painful. The HMO doctor took x-rays, found nothing wrong, but was too happy to prescribe me pain and muscle relaxer medications. Although the HMO doctor insisted that he could find nothing wrong, the pain was unbearable. I began to wonder, was this all in my mind, was this a psychosomatic response to my life? I began to abuse prescription painkillers, and muscle relaxers.
I became non-functional, and started a financial tailspin that lead to the loss of my home, my car, my wife, and my dignity. As odd as it seems, I knew that I was on a self-destructive path, and that it would lead to my wife leaving me, and I did nothing to stop that. I was relieved when that time came. Our divorce was not a fight, it was almost amicable, I had custody of Garrett 4 days a week. 10 months after our separation, I left Las Vegas for California to seek better treatment.
As it turns out I had a genetic back defect that caused my spine to whittle down and snap, causing the discs in my lower back to compress together pinching my sciatic nerves in both legs. I had been improperly diagnosed for a year and a half. I had a broken back. What a relief! By 2001 I was unemployed, broke, living with my grandmother and having spinal surgery to repair my broken back. The only thing that kept me alive was my son. When we weren't together I called him every night.
After recovering from having rods, screws, and synthetic bone inserted into my lower back, I took one of the most menial jobs imaginable. I was a peddler, going business to business, selling books/toys, and other low end items made in China. I was humbled beyond description, oh and it was in the city next to the town in which I grew up in. I had to walk into businesses of people I grew up with, did I mention I was humbled? The hook was: if you do well, train other people to succeed, we will give you your own business to run. Within 3 months I was managing the company, it may have been humbling, but it allowed me to set goals to achieve success. Over the next 4 years I ran one of these businesses working 90+ hours a week. I went from 200 to 300 lbs. Once again I was chasing material success. I was miserable on the inside, but the shining example of positive mental attitude. They called me JuiceLee because I knew how to bring the "juice" to get people fired up.
From 1990 to 2005 I had gained 40-50 lbs and lost 40-50 lbs 3-4 times. Each time I would do the Slim Fast diet, exercise, and bam! the weight was gone. But I never created a lifestyle that would allow me to keep the weight off. In 2004 my mom died unexpectantly at 63 of a heart attack. My mom created a life that allowed her to live half the year on the coast here in the States, and half the year in Florence, Italy. She was living her dream. I was crushed by her loss. My father had a stroke at 39, and my older brother had a heart attack at 36. I knew those things, but it did not cause me to change.
In 2006 I met the most caring, supportive, intelligent and beautiful woman, Amy. She was 6' red hair in shape, active at the gym, running 5ks, and yet she loved and accepted me at 300 lbs. She has worked for the State of California for over 25 years, and after some prompting from Amy, I became a Training Officer for the State of California at the age of 45. 20 years as a state employee, retire at 65 with a nice pension, and health insurance, ok I can get behind that. All of a sudden I was not chasing material goals, uhhhh, it's not something you do on a state salary. A career and a woman that I love, and that appreciates me, but something was still not right, and I knew what it was; it was my weight. My weight was affecting my ability to live a full life. I would break a sweat just going up one flight of stairs. I would break a sweat just moving chairs around to set up a meeting. I would break a sweat just sitting on the bed watching TV. If I spent a few hours working in the garden, I was done for 2 days. I had nerve damage in both legs from when I had a broken back, and my lower back was always in distress; then the sores that would not heal appeared. I was squeezed into size 48 pants, and the belt had cut into my skin causing sores that would not heal. I tried to hide them, tried to make excusses for them, but the bottom line was...I was scared to go to the doctor. Finally after much prodding from Amy I went to the doctor. He gave me a lab slip and told me to get some blood work done.....3 months later I finally went....the doctor's office called as soon as they received the results.
I met with the doctor on May 15, 2009:
*weighed in at 299 lbs, in January I had weighed in at 313 lbs
*triglycerides were 569,supposed to be <150
*blood sugar was 250, supposed to be 90-100
*hemoglobin A1c measures diabetes, should be <6.0 to be non-diabetic, I was 10.5, and a type II diabetic
The doctor put me on medications, told me to prick my finger to take my blood sugar readings at night and in the morning, and to lose weight. For the first 3 weeks I cut out bread, went for walks on my break at work, but really, I was not committed to any real lifestyle change. My blood sugar showed signs of lowering, but each morining when I woke up my reading would be higher than the night before. What the heck? I wasn't eating between readings. Finally I went to the internet to find out what was going on; fat stores sugar, and when you sleep the fat releases those sugars into your blood stream. I was at a turning point, the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became.....at myself. I was MAD at me; live the life of a diabetic, and suffer the potential consequences, or lose the weight, it was my choice, I got myself here, and only I could get myself out. I weighed 287 lbs. It was time to set goals and declare my committment to Amy.
Goals:
*at doctors appointment in 13 weeks weigh 225 lbs, lose 62 lbs
*by my 47th birthday in 21 weeks weigh 190 lbs, lose 97 lbs
The Plan:
Together we came up with an eating plan: protein shakes in a blender with fruit and ice creates 36 oz of yummy goodness which became breakfast and dinner. By making my shakes this way, I was satisfied with the variety of flavors, and it was very filling. Without the blended ice, I would have had to fight hunger pangs. A sensible lunch consisting of a meat protein, fruits and vegatables, mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks of fruits and vegatables. High protein, very little carbs, and 12-14 servings of fruits and vegatables was my eating plan. Drink plenty of water, and/or Crystal Light. In 21 weeks, I maybe had hunger pangs 2-3 times, it worked like a charm. I did allow myself one cheat day on the weekend, but grew weary of how that made my body feel.
We had an elliptical machine in the spare bedroom that was a great clothes rack. My first time on the machine I went for 12 minutes and then collapsed in exhaustion. I knew moving arms and legs would burn more calories, trim the arms and legs, and allow me to achieve my goal. I knew I had to listen to my body, and make decisions based on how my body reacted. At first I exercised every other morning, first thing, for 10 minutes. Then I progressed to 10 minutes every morning. I listened to my body, and before too long, I was exercising morning and evening. My evening exercise was always 2 hours after dinner, so that I would burn the calories I just ate, and my body would burn fat while I slept. I always exercised when I first woke up, in order to burn more stored fat. I also went for a brisk 20 minute walk mid-morning and mid-afternoon. At the height of my exercise regiment, I was using the ellipitical machine for 40 minutes in the morning, and 40 minutes at night.
Early on Amy commented that she was happy that I was getting healthy so that she would not have to "worry about me." She meant it as a compliment, and as words of encouragement, however, that hit a nerve in me that drove me everytime I felt like backing off. The realization that the woman I love had to worry about me, essentially whether or not I was going to die on her, was something that drove me to succeed.
Sticking to the exercise portion of my plan was the biggest challenge. My lower back would hurt more often than not, and I would have pain shooting down the sciatic nerves in both legs. Many times I would complete my exercise, and immediately lay flat on my back to alleviate the shooting pain. But I never missed a workout session. In 6 months I only took 2 days off, and it was 76 days before I took my first day off. I would not be detered, I was on a mission.
I only weighed myself once a week, period. I weighed myself first thing each Friday morning. However, I did not live and die based on what the scale said. If I did not lose the same amount of weight as the week before, I was not worried, because I knew that if I followed my plan, the results would even out, and they did.
Return visit to the doctor August 21, 16 weeks later:
*weight 222 lbs, 77 lbs lost
*triglycerides went from 569 to 85
*blood sugar went from 250 to 95
*Hemoglobin A1c went from 10.5 to 5.5
I no longer had high cholesterol, high blood sugar, nor was I type II diabetic. No need for medications, and no need to monitor my blood sugar...the best part! Pricking your finger is not fun. My doctor could not have been happier.
8 weeks until my birthday, and I was on track. The weight continued to come off at the rate I needed it to to hit my goal. A funny thing happened; one day I woke up and realized that I had not suffered from back pain for a number of days. Once I got below 215 lbs, my chronic back pain went away, no more pinched nerves, and I have not had an issue with my back since.
One day I was talking to a childhood friend and he told me had become a runner, triathlete, and had even competed in Kona. I thought that was insane, but congratulated him, as I thought, not me brother. The seed was planted.
The day before my 47th birthday I weighed 190 lbs, I was overwhelmed. 109 lbs lost in 24 weeks.
Amy brought me home a pair of skinny jeans, I looked at the tag, and they said 34, I thought no way, but tried them on anyway....they fit perfectly....my eyes leaked a little bit.
Because of my previous weight loss, and failure to keep it off, I knew I had to create an active lifestyle. I decided to find a gym that had a basketball court. I was a total (basketball) gym rat growing up. I joined 24 Hour Fitness. Exercising on the ellipitical and running, were worlds apart on the body. I remember how our coaches had us do sprint drills and run laps around the basketball court to get in playing shape, and so I started slow, and built from there. My younger brother had been a marathoner, stepped away for 10 years, and now he was running again. I thought what better way to celebrate our efforts than to run a 5k together in November. 4 weeks after my birthday, I flew to New England, where my brother lives, and we ran a 5k together along The Charles River in Boston. It was the perfect way to start a new chapter in my life.
Amy and I have been big fans of the TV show Biggest Loser. The funny thing is, when I used to watch it, I would view it and lie to myself about how I wasn't as bad as though people, but I was. One night in the fall of 2009 we were watching a Where are They Now version of the show focusing on past 'Losers.' This night the show did a feature on Matt. Matt had been a show winner, and had gained a lot of the weight back. On the show Matt competed in a triathlon, Kona Iron Man. As I watched the show the seed began to grow, and I knew what I had to do to create an active lifestyle for myself, and how to save my life. I had to become a triathlete. As they showed Matt (250 lbs) crossing the finish line at Kona, I turned to Amy and I said: "I'm going to do an Iron Man before I'm 50." I had 35 months to achieve this goal.
Side notes:
*I competed in my first triathlon a sprint, March Triathlon Series in March of 2010, and placed 3rd in my AG.
*In March of 2010 bought my first bike in 33 years, and 2 months later entered a local May is Bike Month competition where you see how many miles you can ride in the month of May. Out of over 7100 local entrants I finished 4th with 1801 miles.
*I rode 5187 miles from March-December 2010
*2 violent crashes on my bike in June kept me out of my first Olympic tri, Treasure Island July 2010
*Posted 1:56 and 1:51 run times in half marathons Feb/March 2011
*Completed my first Olympic tri April 2011
*Garrett just completed his freshman year at George Washington University in Washington, DC - Amy and I have been together for 5+ years
Love it Bro! what a journey to now
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